"CLEAR AS MUD!"
Late breaking news from the State Department's PR unit:
FLASH: It has been announced that
Cindy Rice has agreed to go to the Middle East the moment
hostilities are over; and not to go over a moment earlier as long
as hostilities persist as per present governmental policy.
This will allow her to stand behind her earlier announcement that she will talk with none of the parties because they are involved in the hostilities in the first place. . However, her aides wanted to be sure that her position on negotiations does not preclude the Secretary of State from meeting with other recognized states even though they may have no connection to the current hostilities such as China and Germany. When asked why she would talk to Germany and China, she replied that it is important that the US maintain its agreement not to engage in negotiations with those who are presently engaged in conflict with each other as are Syria, Iran and Lebannon. .
It was made clear that this statement was meant to clarify the present status of non-negotiation with parties to the hostilities; it was not meant to preclude the Secretary of State from taking credit for any settlement arising from her not being present for non-negotiations with the warring states as per her earlier statements.
Furthermore, in a late breaking announcement, the Secretary of State want to convey to any of the involved parties that her absence was a sign from the United States that this country remained interested in negotiating a truce agreement as soon as the warring parties settled their grievances and were removed from non-negotiable status.
The president, too, indicated his satisfaction, that the Secretary of State would not be engaged in discussions designed to eliminate all hostilities because to do so would be an inevitable sign of weakness which would hamper the current impetus towards settlement of hostilities resulting from this country's non-involvement Which seems to be making excellent progress.
Due to the success of such non-meetings, it has been decided to hold them with greater frequency in the interests of peace and that all parties would make every effort not to attend in order to accelerate the cause of peace in the Middle East and as a warning to those who might harbor the misunderstanding that attendance at these meetings might exacerbate current progress towards the desired ends. The media has indicated that it intends to ramp up coverage of these non-events in the interest of all parties.
Reporting from the Newroom...
Les Aaron
FLASH: It has been announced that
Cindy Rice has agreed to go to the Middle East the moment
hostilities are over; and not to go over a moment earlier as long
as hostilities persist as per present governmental policy.
This will allow her to stand behind her earlier announcement that she will talk with none of the parties because they are involved in the hostilities in the first place. . However, her aides wanted to be sure that her position on negotiations does not preclude the Secretary of State from meeting with other recognized states even though they may have no connection to the current hostilities such as China and Germany. When asked why she would talk to Germany and China, she replied that it is important that the US maintain its agreement not to engage in negotiations with those who are presently engaged in conflict with each other as are Syria, Iran and Lebannon. .
It was made clear that this statement was meant to clarify the present status of non-negotiation with parties to the hostilities; it was not meant to preclude the Secretary of State from taking credit for any settlement arising from her not being present for non-negotiations with the warring states as per her earlier statements.
Furthermore, in a late breaking announcement, the Secretary of State want to convey to any of the involved parties that her absence was a sign from the United States that this country remained interested in negotiating a truce agreement as soon as the warring parties settled their grievances and were removed from non-negotiable status.
The president, too, indicated his satisfaction, that the Secretary of State would not be engaged in discussions designed to eliminate all hostilities because to do so would be an inevitable sign of weakness which would hamper the current impetus towards settlement of hostilities resulting from this country's non-involvement Which seems to be making excellent progress.
Due to the success of such non-meetings, it has been decided to hold them with greater frequency in the interests of peace and that all parties would make every effort not to attend in order to accelerate the cause of peace in the Middle East and as a warning to those who might harbor the misunderstanding that attendance at these meetings might exacerbate current progress towards the desired ends. The media has indicated that it intends to ramp up coverage of these non-events in the interest of all parties.
Reporting from the Newroom...
Les Aaron
posted by The Armchair Curmudgeon at 8:43 PM
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